ANTI-POKEMON FICS


He's evil, I tell you, EEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLLL!!!!!!


A Pokemon Story...as told by me

Why exactly do I hate this show? Well, aside from the fact that it stars Satan's little yellow pet rat (who, might I add, is trying to take over the world), but it's BORING! Don't beleive me? Then click on the link, and see how *I* view a typical monotnous pokemon plotline...

Mother, may I [take over the world]?

This is a fic written by my younger brother, *Mallet Boy*. It's basically a pointless (if pretty funny) story about how Pikachu and it's allies try to take over the world. Perfect for a good laugh!


Okay, some of you are probably rolling your eyes at me when I say that Satan's little yellow pet rat is trying to take over the world. But not only is it trying to take over the world, but I can *prove* it! Just listen to my story:

I woke up one Saturday morning in a good mood. Boy, was that about to change.

Everyday, I set my television alarm so that it turns on when a show I want to watch in the morning comes on; this way, I won't miss it. However, apparently, I set the alarm wrong last night, because instead of MST3K on Sci-Fi, my television turns on to Pokemon on Kids WB. Ironically enough, it was the episode "Misty Meets Her Match" (the one *good* episode in the entire dang series, cuz it was semi-interesting and actually had a NEW plotline featuring Kasumi+Satoshi hints--don't ask me how I know their Japanese names, btw), but I still turned it off.

Getting out of bed, I walk downstars to have breakfast, but when I open the pantry door--Pokemon Pop-Tarts stare me straight in the face. Needless to say, I closed the door in a hurry, and settled on eggs and bacon.

A little while later, I turned on the TV to watch Digimon. See, I like Digimon--the plotline actually gets interesting. Unfortunately, during commercial, what do I find? Pokemon has invaded Nestle's Wonderball! >~< as if things weren't bad enough, the stupid rat had to invade the candy supply! My poor chocolate! Switching off the TV immediately (it was a re-run, anyways), I chose to just stay in my room and read.

Wouldn't you know that the disk in my player was a Pokemon single ["Don't Say You Love Me" by M2M]. I love the song, but I was REALLY starting to hate the color yellow...you get my drift. So, I read for about an hour in silence. Quite relaxing, if you ask me.

Anyhow, my mom asks if I want to go shopping with her, so I agree. We go to the grocery store first, and I ask if I can pick out some new cereal. I go, and what do I see? Pokemon cereal! So, I turn around to face the other shelf, and what's there? Pokemon fruit roll-up AND fruit-by-the-foot! >~< I turn back around again, and what do I see NOW? POKEMON FRUIT SNACKS! So, I look up towards the ceiling, and lo-and-behold...POKEMON YATZEE! That was about all I could take; I litterally ran down the aisle, back to where my mother was, and said, "MOM, IT'S TAKING OVER THE WORLD AGAIN!" By now, she was pretty used to this, so she just nodded and went back to her shopping.

Yes, I screamed that out right in the middle of the grocery store--if you don't beleive me, there were witnesses. Ask them.

Anyhow, I get home later in a pretty sulky mood, so I turn on the TV to "Who's Line is it Anyway?" I like that show, especially when Drew Carey hosts, so I sat down to watch it. Of course, one of the games is called "Television styles"...and what do you think one of the genres they had to act out was? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.

I ran screaming into my room (okay, I didn't scream, but I ran like heck) and closed the door. I go sit on my bed, but I feel something paper-like under the covers. I pull it back, and...it's a Pikachu trading card! And that's not all; my entire bed, dresser, and desk were filled with hidden pokemon cards; a cruel joke on my little brother's part. After chasing him all around the house, scaring the heck out of him, and forcing him to lock himself in his room to give me privacy, I finally got some peace.

At that point, it was late afternoon. Dinner time came, I changed for bed, and went to sleep with no more phenomenons. I was safe...or so I though....

About a week later, I was watching a brand-new REBOOT episode (I'm a fan of the series, and have been waiting SO long for a season 4!), and what do you think I saw? A FREAKIN' POKEMON-BASED GAME REFERENCE IN THE SHOW! And I mean litterally "game-reference" If you know what the show's like, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. The second I saw that, I screamed:

"IT'S TAKING OVER THE WORLD AGAIN!!!!"

True Story-I swear!


Flames for this section are always welcome, and are just used as fuel for my pokemon-murchandise-burning bonfire (wanna come? We're making s'mores!)


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Midi File: "Evil Is" (*blink, blink* ...what?)